she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
