Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
