All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
