Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
