He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
