CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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