I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
