if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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