I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
