At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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