your thong is hanging out like whoa
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
