well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
