tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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