She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
i now understand why vodka
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
