it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
