Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
