dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
