i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
