why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
