You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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