Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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