Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
