***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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