I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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