Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Randomize
