i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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