When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
