Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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