Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
