the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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