fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
