So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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