why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
