you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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