You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
