# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
