It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
