Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
