either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
