What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
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