Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
