Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
