i barfeds in our rink
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
