i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
