its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
