walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Success! We fucked roommates!
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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