i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Randomize
