4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Randomize
