Hey man sorry I got all grabby
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
