Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
