He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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